Relationships

Remember in Clueless how Cher discusses the differences in girl time vs boy time? Well, she comments how in boy time, calling you the next day is more like calling you in three or four days. I have never played this game only because it is silly and quite frankly, if you are interested in someone than just call them up. Screw those rules.

I think I am in a growing pains stage with the bf and I am a bit frustrated. I know I have my own little issues that I carry around in my Coach bag, shocking huh? But as I try to move forward and deal with them I am confronted by some things that really drive me crazy.

Bf is a great guy, nice, etc. but since he has been traveling for work I have noticed that there are things that bother me and am not sure how to handle them. I got used to communicating with him daily, whether it was talking on the phone, texting or spending time together. However, this past business trip, there were days where I did not speak to him period. Like, sent a text, never heard back, calls were either sporadic or the calls were short in comparison to when we first started going out.

The there is the whole football season thing; now I love me some football but. . .he has season tickets to his alma matter. He mentioned when we first started dating that I would be going to some games; as time as gotten closer it looks like I might be invited to one game but that is still not set in concrete. He tells me stories about his friends but I have yet to meet one of them.

Maybe I am just paranoid but it seems like maybe he is not so sure about introducing me to his friends. Sure, they live out of town but a couple have popped into town and his parents as well but I was not included. This bothers me but I don’t want to sound like a whiny bitch about this so I keep my mouth shut. I am more hurt than anything because I feel like I am going down the same path I did with G and quite frankly, I am not in the mood to do that again.

I try to pull things out of him in regards to past relationships but he tends to jump when I do that. My guess is that he hasn’t been in a ton of relationships and doesn’t want to talk about it. But hell, I will answer any question you have for me and consider myself an open book. We have all done things that we are not proud of but the real point of discussing the past is to show what you have learned.

This past weekend has been a real quest for me in terms of the fears I have and quite frankly, I have come close to just pulling the plug on this. Why? I don’t want to date someone for a year, two years only to find out that he wasn’t that into me. To be frank, if this doesn’t work I am done with dating. I just want to know where I stand in his life. If he is unsure then I can say, well, we tried, good luck and I hope you find someone that makes you want to open your mouth and share, anything.

The reality is I don’t want to share my feelings about him to him because of the unknown. Dating sucks and no matter how much I want to have a marriage and children I am beginning to think that getting those two stupid little things are not in the cards for me. I shared that with Eliot years ago and here I am still feeling like this. I got on eHarmony because I knew I wasn’t going to meet a guy in my normal life for dating purposes.

I will see bf this evening, the first time in a week and a half and am hoping that my bad attitude will dissipate before he comes to pick me up.  He is leaving again for business Thursday and won’t be back until the following Friday. They have another home game that weekend and while he is wavering on should he go or not I know that in the end, he will go.  And probably not think much about  how long it has been since he has seen me.

Yeah, someone pissed in my Frosted Flakes but I figure after being burned so many times before, none of this is shocking anymore.

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Umm, Am I Supposed to Feel Sorry for Puff Daddy?

I was cruising the internet this morning, doing my daily ritual of viewing all of the sites I look at and noticed that P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, whatever he likes to be called bitching and moaning about how he is now forced to fly commercial. I feel for you Diddy, I mean, you have millions, can travel wherever you want, buy whatever you want and do whatever you feel like (including a horrible episode of My Sweet Sixteen, where his baby momma’s son turns 16 and he drops a buttload of money on the spoiled kid) but your gripe is that you now have to fly with us common folk.

I mean, I struggle to pay my bills, deal with the rising cost of gas and put off a vacation due to the economy but damn, you do have it rough. I would hate for you to have to live on my salary (gasp!) and have to make decisions like do I drive out to Radnor Lake to exercise or do I make do with what is near me in terms of exercising and saving some gas so I only have to fill up twice a month. I can understand the struggles you go through: do I buy the $50K car or the $60K car, natch.

And don’t get me started on the whole “there are no black people in Alaska and Alaska doesn’t really matter.” Damn, you are right, Alaska maybe part of the United States but it doesn’t really count. I get you and your line of thought. I guess their tax revenues and what they do bring to the table doesn’t really count. I think you should really start a petition to kick Alaska out of America. I think a lot of people would get behind it and while you are at it, I think you should have a telethon to raise money so you can fly privately again. It doesn’t matter that there are millions of people who are struggling to keep a roof over their heads, food on the table and just keep their heads above water. I think we could all pitch in and contribute to your luxurious lifestyle. I guess I could forgo paying my rent and car for the month, hell, I could forget about eating (I am fat, so that would help with the losing the weight issue) in order to give you about $2K.

Yeah, I feel sooooo sorry for you. Poor thing, no I must run and grab my checkbook so I can contribute to your hard life. Just one question for you: which name do you want on the check?

I Finally Figured It Out!

And by IT I mean, I finally figured out how to make fried corn. People, this was a wonderful experience last night and one that I felt needed to go in the annuls of history!!! I grew up under the feet of many family members while they ran around the kitchen. Food was comfort to me and a way of making friends when I went away to college. While most people pour over the fashion and sports magazines, I pour over cook books and restaurant menus. Kind of dorky but I love reading menus, to see what a chef pairs with their main courses.

Granny is an amazing cook, while at the ripe young age of 94 she no longer cooks, I still remember several items that she cooked that I loved. One being fried corn, traditional southern food that when paired with mashed potatoes (no box crap for me) I can make a meal of that (hence the weight issues). I tried a few years ago to make it when Granny vowed not to make it again since it was a process that hurt her hands and wrists. So I thought it was no biggie to make it. Well, I failed at it and vowed I would never attempted it again.

Well, never say never because I had five ears of corn that needed to be dealt with this week and I decided to give it the ole college try one more time. This time, instead of trying it like Granny told me (which consisted of using a little bit of this and a little bit of that) I hit the internet to see what it said about the corn. I finally figured out how to do it and with minimal pain, actually succeeded! Yes! Finally I got it right and it made me smile because I hate to fail in the kitchen.

Now if I could only figure out how to make Granny’s dressing, I would be beyond thrilled but again, she never used a recipe and the only way I know how to do it is using a box of dressing and kicking it up several notches with my own improvising.

I Needed a Laugh

Yes Rach, I was in a bit of a mood during my last post! I think I am better now though.

Thursday started out like all Thursdays, happy that I was closer to the weekend and thinking that this weekend was going to be all about me being a bump on the log. I had lunch with one of my favorite coworkers and we hit up one of our meat and threes. I enjoyed the company and the food and of course, he took my ticket away from me so I couldn’t pay for my own meal.

I get back to work, stuffed, ready for a nap but jumped back onto the task at hand. Another coworker grabbed me and said that I needed to go to Costco with her. I have on my list of things to do for the party: price and buy flat screen tv for giveaway. So I run out with her, find what I was looking for, make a mental note of price and specs so I can tell my boss.

On the ride back I start feeling ill. I replay what I had for lunch, none of which should make me feel like this and think that maybe the veggies were a little to high in grease content. One of the “great” things about not having a gallbladder is the reaction your stomach makes when food is a bit too greasy. I figured I would eat a peppermint and be over it. I sit at my desk and then start getting hot flashes, the ones you get when a stomach virus wants to camp out with you for a couple of days. I grab a Sprite Zero thinking this will settle everything, turn on my fan and try to work. A couple people check on me, I tell them I think it was my lunch, no biggie and notice I have under two hours left in the day. Thinking I can work through this and then go home and crash, I muster up some energy and start looking at my spreadsheets. The ickiness will not go away, great. I try to give myself a pep talk and then realize that things are going from bad to worse quickly. Shit, I had this twice earlier this year, I know a couple of people have had this again but I didn’t think I get it again. I run into my boss’s office and tell him I have to go, that I think I am getting ready to puke. He jokes that it could be food poisoning, not funny boss man. I get home, take care of business and try to relax.

I get up the next morning and that horrible feeling I had from the day before is still there. I tried some toast, big mistake. So I take the day off (which sucks because I have a list of things I need to do and being out doesn’t make the list get shorter). Yesterday I thought I was feeling a bit better but spent some quality time in the bathroom. I did manage some real food but paid for it dearly. This morning? Much better, more normal and will try to eat normal food again shortly to see what happens. I love my stomach, I have been sicker than ever before since getting the gallbladder out. Almost makes me think that I should have kept it and dealt with the stones escaping than this.

But I needed a laugh and last night I got the biggest one. A friend told me about watching I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and I thought I was going to pee in my pants. I have a hard time focusing on movies and shows since I am so conditioned to multi-tasking but I managed to actually watch this movie without banging away on the keyboard. It was so funny and Ving Rhames was so wrong he was good. I DVR’d it since I wasn’t sure if I would actually watch it.

So, if you need a laugh, watch this movie. It is fluff but sometimes you just need it and in the end Chuck and Larry do love and care about each other, just not in that way. . .

Bitter, Party of 1, Your Table is Now Ready

This sucks, actually it is the economy that sucks but you get the picture. I am dying for a vacation, a real one where you have to take a plane to get somewhere, stay in a hotel and eat out the whole week. I had originally planned on taking a trip to NYC this December but due to unforseen circumstances with work, I had to cancel the trip.

I could have kept the money in savings but after promising my first born to my dentist I thought it would be the right thing to do and pull that money over so I could pay the bill down. And the bad part is, the trips to dentist will be continuing for awhile and no this has nothing to do with my vanity. More like I have crappy teeth and am terrified of the dentist so I waited until I ended up with an abcessed tooth as the biggest issue.

Back to the economy; the cost of gas is killing me and I drive a 4 cylindar Civic; cost of food has increased so I have opted for crap food to save a buck and the whole thing is starting to get to me. I am all about the enviroment, saving the dolphins and polar bears but would it hurt if America became a little independent on other countries? My father raised me to never count on anyone else to take care of me. Kind of harsh sure, but it has helped me in times of trouble; I know that I can handle things on my own. Also, no one has guarantee that life is always going to be sunshine and daisies; so for me to be realistic helps me with my sanity.

My dad made a comment to me this past weekend about not getting a loan for a home a couple of years back. Well, I could get a loan, but unlike every Tom, Dick and Harry; I really thought about it and the implications of buying a home. I looked at the rate, the payment, the terms and didn’t feel comfortable with it. I would have been just another story to add to the credit crisis and after destroying my credit a couple of times I wanted to make the right decisions. Now, if we had had lenders and lendees that thought like that then we might not be in this mess to begin with. . .

And as for the airlines, go ahead; keep nickel and diming us; you will see that most “normal” people will change direction and just might decide not to travel via air. By the way, I have been buying my soda and snacks for the plane at the airport before getting on the plane; so you can keep those itty bitty peanuts and sodas for yourselves. As for luggage. . .honey let me tell you something, I can ship that shit to wherever I am going or I can pack like there is no tomorrow and get it into a carry on. Trust me, dear airlines, this is one battle that you will regret raging.

And finally, Dear Mr. President and the hopefuls for 2008. . .get your heads out of your asses, pull it together, take care of America and see that the majority of us are struggling, to the point that while a second job sounds great, the gas and energy expended to do this would not be worth it.

So there is my little rant, oops, guess I was having a hard day today. . .gotta go, they just called my name for my table.

I Survived. . .

The prayers helped, let me tell you I was one nervous little girl. I got my place cleaned up Thursday night and put up any items that might cause my parents alarm or a potential lecture. I ended up waking up at 7 yesterday morning only because my body is just set to do that, which sucks. I stumbled into the kitchen and attacked the dishwasher, unloaded everything, wiped down the counters, looked at the floor and said fuck it, I am not sweeping or mopping.

I left to get gas, hit the grocery store and get my car washed since it was nasty. On the way to the grocery I called my parents to see if they had left yet. They were getting ready to, dad seemed to be dragging getting out the door. I had a little breakfast and planned on napping since I was still exhausted but then realize I had clothes that were piled up and needed to be put up. Now I had a choice; I could either hang everything up or just shove that shit into the closet. I went with the second option, I was tired and just wanted to be able to get in some kind of nap.

They finally got here and the things started off rocky. The Wookster was not happy to have guests. He was like that until they left. Oh man, it was hard because he is such a love bug and he was very unpleasant. At one point mom came out of my room and said he was in there pushing with all his might against their suitcase. Seriously, this is the cat that runs and greats everyone that comes in and wants to love. He really is a sweet cat but apparently, he wasn’t in the mood for company. Oops. . .

We head into Green Hills and I am trying to suggest places to eat. Dad and I are pretty flexible in terms of food, mom; not so much. So we get lunch and roam around the mall. This is always a pain because my mom will look at everything, go back several times to items she really likes but will not buy anything. They have the money but my mom swears they are dirt poor and it drives me crazy.

Dad is pulling his normal stunts, like making fun of the bodyguards in Tiffany and I have to keep reminding him that is not proper behavior in Green Hills. Seriously, he was being so goofy it wasn’t funny. The best is we get back to my place and I walk out to the living room. I find him sitting on the couch with one of his stupid looks, hat on sideways saying he is ready to meet bf. Panic sets in thinking that this is such a mistake to introduce them because I am convinced that this is going to be bad.

We pick up bf, I introduce them and we are off to the game. Small talk happens and my mom starts trying to pick on me; which bf encourages as we are rolling down the interstate. Thanks for the support there buddy. We park, head up to the suite and hang. All in all, it was a nice evening. Dad behaved himself, bf was cool about the whole thing and we rolled on through the evening.

I *think* they all liked each other. I guess the nice thing is I don’t go home often and my parents have been up here to visit twice in eight years, so it is not like they will be here every month. This fall I am supposed to go to a game or two with bf at his alma mater, so I will meet some of his friends then. Not sure if or when I will meet his parents. Kind of nervous about that because I have always had such bad luck in that department.

I hung out with my parents today, did a bit more shopping and then they headed back home. Nice quick trip and I got ready to hang with bf, Stacey and her hubby. We had a nice evening hanging out, talking, laughing and all that in between. I still have to go to Stacey and ask, umm, so do you think he is into me? Because I don’t read him very well and the last time I thought things were great with a guy I ended up with egg on my face.

So we all survived and I think that things are good between us. . .

OMG, Am I Really Ready for This?

Remember when you were younger and dating was just an activity? Remember when introducing some boy to your parents wasn’t that big of a deal? Aww, the good old days!

So I got tickets to the Titans game for this Friday, a coworker who handles the tickets grabbed me this morning, tells me to sit down and then proceeds to plop four suite tickets and a parking pass in my paws. I thought I was going to cry! Getting tickets is normal, I end up with them at some point during the football season and I relish them each and every time but for my dad who just went to his first game last year, this is huge. He always says that the pro sports have priced the normal guy from going to the game but since I finally thought about getting him to a game last year, I had never thought about this tidbit.

I immediately call my parents, excited because now we can drag mom to a game. She isn’t into sports at all but I keep telling her she gets to sit in the suite, eat some food and it is actually quite nice. I call, dad hems and haws to which I say put mom on the phone. She simpers a we’ll see and I can already tell she is trying to figure out how to get out of coming to Nashville. She is terrified of the interstate and hates the traffic here. Umm, the traffic really isn’t that bad but then again I have been driving in this city for over eight years. I tell her to stop trying to make excuses, they are coming up. They can sleep in my room, etc. Her only thought? Well, you said that bf is going out of town. . .gee, thanks, I would hate for you to have to see your daughter! I hear dad in the background as I am arguing with her that bf will be there and I said he was going out of town later in the month, not now. She continues to argue with me (really? the woman forgets about something she is dying to ask me about once a week but she remembers this tidbit, alas the wrong date of his departure). So dad gets back on the phone, I tell him again, they are coming up here, I could care less about the excuses. He relents and says let me handle this, I will talk to you later.

I talk to him again later and he says that it’s a go. Finally, someone finally hears me. I tell him I am taking the day off and he asks why. Umm, thought you and mom would like to come up early, get settled and I could take you into Green Hills. Ohhhhh! I get it now. Way to be on this one dad. Then I tell him the plan and that on Saturday we can roam around a bit before they leave. He then says, well you know we need to head back on Saturday. . .dad, were you actually listening to me? Obviously not. I tell him that it didn’t matter if mom came or not, that the purpose of making sure I was off on Friday was just in case I needed to go down to Cleveland and pick him up. He asks when they should leave to get here so they don’t hit rush hour traffic, I say leave at 8, you will get here probably around 10 my time and that works out well.

I call mom later since I was quite rude to her (she pushes my buttons like no other). I try to talk up going into Green Hills, that we can hit Prime Outlet on Saturday morning and that there is a PetSmart near me. Her nose is out of joint. Yeah, I forced you to do this but like I told dad earlier this year, Nashville is my home and if I get married, I am doing it here and if I ever have kids, they need to come here to visit. Dad is gung ho on this, mom, not so much.

Oops, tangent! Anyway, I run to bf’s after work to borrow his Dyson (I kill vaccum cleaners so I need a heavy duty one) so I can clean and make it look like I am halfway decent when it comes to cleaning. He is laughing at me since I so don’t clean. In fact, his text back to me earlier was “didn’t you just do this? Wookie doesn’t shed that much.” I think I *might* clean (like really clean) twice a year. And those usually involve my Christmas dinner party or some other gathering.

So back to the point, I get over there, we are talking and I am trying to brace him for this because I am scared shitless. I really like bf and man my parents are different. Dad is really laid back, my mom is uptight and will be driving from the backseat when we all pack in and head to the game. Please oh please let this go smoothly because I could just see bf look at them, look at me and then say, uh, no thanks. I wouldn’t blame him though. My mom scared the shit out of the ex. She hasn’t liked many of my bfs and since I am getting older, well this is just one of those things that she will use in a year or two, saying that she didn’t like him and knew that he wasn’t the one.

As I am getting ready to leave his place I remember that I needed to borrow one of his flasks for the game. Oh yeah, Amy is going to have a cocktail and is going to conceal it (while saving bf 13 bucks) in front of the mom, why? Because I don’t want to hear her getting onto me about drinking. Hell, I won’t be smoking for two days because I still haven’t discussed this with them. Sure, they probably figured it out a few years ago but still I don’t want the lecture. Passive much?

I ended up talking to dad after work, his question to me? So what are we doing about food? Gee dad, I don’t know, I mean there aren’t any restaurants around here and I don’t cook and oh yeah, there are no grocery stores. Guess we need to go hunting for some food. . .

Pray for me people, this weekend could get ugly. I told dad that mom isn’t allowed to drive once they get here. She would cause massive amounts of pile ups if I let her. So I told him we can take my car or I can drive theirs. The last time they were both here was for my surgery five years ago. I drove them around, the ex scared them a couple of times on the interstate and finally they left. This should be interesting. Maybe I should warn Metro’s Police Department about them coming since she can’t handle heavy traffic.