Remember in Clueless how Cher discusses the differences in girl time vs boy time? Well, she comments how in boy time, calling you the next day is more like calling you in three or four days. I have never played this game only because it is silly and quite frankly, if you are interested in someone than just call them up. Screw those rules.
I think I am in a growing pains stage with the bf and I am a bit frustrated. I know I have my own little issues that I carry around in my Coach bag, shocking huh? But as I try to move forward and deal with them I am confronted by some things that really drive me crazy.
Bf is a great guy, nice, etc. but since he has been traveling for work I have noticed that there are things that bother me and am not sure how to handle them. I got used to communicating with him daily, whether it was talking on the phone, texting or spending time together. However, this past business trip, there were days where I did not speak to him period. Like, sent a text, never heard back, calls were either sporadic or the calls were short in comparison to when we first started going out.
The there is the whole football season thing; now I love me some football but. . .he has season tickets to his alma matter. He mentioned when we first started dating that I would be going to some games; as time as gotten closer it looks like I might be invited to one game but that is still not set in concrete. He tells me stories about his friends but I have yet to meet one of them.
Maybe I am just paranoid but it seems like maybe he is not so sure about introducing me to his friends. Sure, they live out of town but a couple have popped into town and his parents as well but I was not included. This bothers me but I don’t want to sound like a whiny bitch about this so I keep my mouth shut. I am more hurt than anything because I feel like I am going down the same path I did with G and quite frankly, I am not in the mood to do that again.
I try to pull things out of him in regards to past relationships but he tends to jump when I do that. My guess is that he hasn’t been in a ton of relationships and doesn’t want to talk about it. But hell, I will answer any question you have for me and consider myself an open book. We have all done things that we are not proud of but the real point of discussing the past is to show what you have learned.
This past weekend has been a real quest for me in terms of the fears I have and quite frankly, I have come close to just pulling the plug on this. Why? I don’t want to date someone for a year, two years only to find out that he wasn’t that into me. To be frank, if this doesn’t work I am done with dating. I just want to know where I stand in his life. If he is unsure then I can say, well, we tried, good luck and I hope you find someone that makes you want to open your mouth and share, anything.
The reality is I don’t want to share my feelings about him to him because of the unknown. Dating sucks and no matter how much I want to have a marriage and children I am beginning to think that getting those two stupid little things are not in the cards for me. I shared that with Eliot years ago and here I am still feeling like this. I got on eHarmony because I knew I wasn’t going to meet a guy in my normal life for dating purposes.
I will see bf this evening, the first time in a week and a half and am hoping that my bad attitude will dissipate before he comes to pick me up. He is leaving again for business Thursday and won’t be back until the following Friday. They have another home game that weekend and while he is wavering on should he go or not I know that in the end, he will go. And probably not think much about how long it has been since he has seen me.
Yeah, someone pissed in my Frosted Flakes but I figure after being burned so many times before, none of this is shocking anymore.