Remember when you were younger and dating was just an activity? Remember when introducing some boy to your parents wasn’t that big of a deal? Aww, the good old days!
So I got tickets to the Titans game for this Friday, a coworker who handles the tickets grabbed me this morning, tells me to sit down and then proceeds to plop four suite tickets and a parking pass in my paws. I thought I was going to cry! Getting tickets is normal, I end up with them at some point during the football season and I relish them each and every time but for my dad who just went to his first game last year, this is huge. He always says that the pro sports have priced the normal guy from going to the game but since I finally thought about getting him to a game last year, I had never thought about this tidbit.
I immediately call my parents, excited because now we can drag mom to a game. She isn’t into sports at all but I keep telling her she gets to sit in the suite, eat some food and it is actually quite nice. I call, dad hems and haws to which I say put mom on the phone. She simpers a we’ll see and I can already tell she is trying to figure out how to get out of coming to Nashville. She is terrified of the interstate and hates the traffic here. Umm, the traffic really isn’t that bad but then again I have been driving in this city for over eight years. I tell her to stop trying to make excuses, they are coming up. They can sleep in my room, etc. Her only thought? Well, you said that bf is going out of town. . .gee, thanks, I would hate for you to have to see your daughter! I hear dad in the background as I am arguing with her that bf will be there and I said he was going out of town later in the month, not now. She continues to argue with me (really? the woman forgets about something she is dying to ask me about once a week but she remembers this tidbit, alas the wrong date of his departure). So dad gets back on the phone, I tell him again, they are coming up here, I could care less about the excuses. He relents and says let me handle this, I will talk to you later.
I talk to him again later and he says that it’s a go. Finally, someone finally hears me. I tell him I am taking the day off and he asks why. Umm, thought you and mom would like to come up early, get settled and I could take you into Green Hills. Ohhhhh! I get it now. Way to be on this one dad. Then I tell him the plan and that on Saturday we can roam around a bit before they leave. He then says, well you know we need to head back on Saturday. . .dad, were you actually listening to me? Obviously not. I tell him that it didn’t matter if mom came or not, that the purpose of making sure I was off on Friday was just in case I needed to go down to Cleveland and pick him up. He asks when they should leave to get here so they don’t hit rush hour traffic, I say leave at 8, you will get here probably around 10 my time and that works out well.
I call mom later since I was quite rude to her (she pushes my buttons like no other). I try to talk up going into Green Hills, that we can hit Prime Outlet on Saturday morning and that there is a PetSmart near me. Her nose is out of joint. Yeah, I forced you to do this but like I told dad earlier this year, Nashville is my home and if I get married, I am doing it here and if I ever have kids, they need to come here to visit. Dad is gung ho on this, mom, not so much.
Oops, tangent! Anyway, I run to bf’s after work to borrow his Dyson (I kill vaccum cleaners so I need a heavy duty one) so I can clean and make it look like I am halfway decent when it comes to cleaning. He is laughing at me since I so don’t clean. In fact, his text back to me earlier was “didn’t you just do this? Wookie doesn’t shed that much.” I think I *might* clean (like really clean) twice a year. And those usually involve my Christmas dinner party or some other gathering.
So back to the point, I get over there, we are talking and I am trying to brace him for this because I am scared shitless. I really like bf and man my parents are different. Dad is really laid back, my mom is uptight and will be driving from the backseat when we all pack in and head to the game. Please oh please let this go smoothly because I could just see bf look at them, look at me and then say, uh, no thanks. I wouldn’t blame him though. My mom scared the shit out of the ex. She hasn’t liked many of my bfs and since I am getting older, well this is just one of those things that she will use in a year or two, saying that she didn’t like him and knew that he wasn’t the one.
As I am getting ready to leave his place I remember that I needed to borrow one of his flasks for the game. Oh yeah, Amy is going to have a cocktail and is going to conceal it (while saving bf 13 bucks) in front of the mom, why? Because I don’t want to hear her getting onto me about drinking. Hell, I won’t be smoking for two days because I still haven’t discussed this with them. Sure, they probably figured it out a few years ago but still I don’t want the lecture. Passive much?
I ended up talking to dad after work, his question to me? So what are we doing about food? Gee dad, I don’t know, I mean there aren’t any restaurants around here and I don’t cook and oh yeah, there are no grocery stores. Guess we need to go hunting for some food. . .
Pray for me people, this weekend could get ugly. I told dad that mom isn’t allowed to drive once they get here. She would cause massive amounts of pile ups if I let her. So I told him we can take my car or I can drive theirs. The last time they were both here was for my surgery five years ago. I drove them around, the ex scared them a couple of times on the interstate and finally they left. This should be interesting. Maybe I should warn Metro’s Police Department about them coming since she can’t handle heavy traffic.