Dating is not the funnest thing on my list but since it is an evil necessity I put up with the ups and downs. I have been fortunate that most exs go away and I may hear about them from time to time but other than that I don’t really have to think about them.
Of course there is always an exception to that rule and this one exception I got in spades. To make a very long story short, I thought I really wanted to date this guy, he was a good friend and it seemed to make sense but once I thought about it and got into with him, I knew that it was a mistake. I can’t take the young and dumb route because it only happened in the past two years. I blame it on my fear of the chance I might end up alone. I ended it both times (yep, tried twice and got the same result) with the same reason, I am not comfortable with this. I adored him, we got along wonderfully but man I was so uncomfortable it wasn’t funny.
Both times, he has lashed out and yes, I deserve some of it but not the amount he laid out for me. And he did it via email. From time to time I would get these horrible emails stating what a horrible person I was; I promptly sent them and my response to a mutual friend who understood the situtaion and could be honest with me (was I too harsh in the response, etc.) about the emails. According to him, I was being fairly even, not pulling any punches which at least made me feel better.
After this last little blow up we didn’t speak for about two months; by then I was on my eHarmony journey and was happy with my choices (I didn’t officially have bf in my life then but he was a reason I was smiling more). He emailed me a request for dinner and I stupidly accepted. I then invited our mutual friend to coffee afters to catch up with him. Dinner was miserable. He kept huffing and puffing, sighing and overall, dramatic about whatever was on his mind. He bashed eHarmony since that didn’t work for him and quite frankly, gave me heartburn in the process. Finally we finished dinner and left waiting on friend to get there for coffee. I had hoped that he would leave but he hung right in and requested that we take a walk. He wanted to get me in a quiet spot to lambast me one more time about what had happened a couple months before. I told him that I wasn’t talking about it, that we could be friends but that was it. He made coffee a miserable and uncomfortable experience for us.
A few days later I get another email attacking me again and questioning my ability to deal with confrontation. Well, at this point being nice wasn’t working so I let him have it. I told him I was sick to death of the drama, the pouting, the ugly words and that the answer to his question, no matter how many times he asked, was not going to change. That finally shut him up but left me with a nasty taste in my mouth. I didn’t want to be mean but he just wasn’t getting the point. It was my fault that I started this thing not once but twice but in all of that time I was not nasty to him. I put his email address into the junk folder and hoped for the best.
Last week I got an email from him, he just wanted to say “hi” and no I haven’t responded back. At this point, not having him in my life is far better than dealing with him. Plus, I don’t want the drama to hit and have the bf have to deal with it or even witness it.
I guess this just goes to show you that while most people think that the women are the drama queens, guys can be too.